Remember that show from probably 20 years ago called, “Are You Afraid of the Dark”? I do for two reasons, one being that yes, indeed, I am afraid of the dark. The second being one episode of the show, that I happened to see because my babysitter was watching it, featured a child being pulled under the bed by his ankles. The culprit? The Sandman of course. I still cannot stand by my bed. Enter the “run and leap” into the bed as Matt calls it.
The dark represents some of my greatest fears and the reality that I fear the unknown more than anything else. For those that know (and love) me, you accept I am a plans and systems girl. A year ago, you could have sent my mood spiraling into the abyss simply by changing one small detail. Neurotic? Yes. My name is Amanda and I admit I had a problem. Step one of the recovery process complete.
A year ago, if you asked me, what my greatest fear was, I would have said cancer. If you asked me to cull that answer down further to a specific type, or place the cancer manifests itself, I would have said the brain. What a walk into the dark unknown have we been pushed into. What a full-on confrontation of my greatest fears. And, my oh my, what bright stars have been revealed. What disciplines we have learned. What love has revealed itself on the hardest days and the longest nights. Thank you Lord, for dark nights, and thank you Lord for bright stars.